Everything Went Black

I wrote this this morning on the bus and since I got home I've debated whethere to post it or not. It's certainly not very positive, let's put it this way. I do like it though, I'll probably end up putting it in my next zine, but for now, here it is. It's obviously about feeling betrayed and left for dead. The mature answer to that situation is of course to just get out of it and not care. It's obviously never as easy as that though, this is my testament to when I kind of lost the plot I guess.

If there's one thing in life I'm glad I've forgotten,
It's what it feels like to be cast away and left for dead by people that you thought cared
It stomps on your self esteem and then throws it to the dogs,
And you just sit there, not even knowing what to do, wondering what fatal flaw you must have to be treated that way
You'll be sad, you'll be angry
You'll want to cry and you'll want to scream, sometimes at the same time.
You'll certainly make excuses in your head for people that don't deserve it
Youll spend so much time trying to fill a void, while not really having the foresight to understand how to do it sustainably
You'll try to define yourself by any little thing that lets you feel a bit less shitty than you do every other day
You'll build things on bad foundations and then be surprised when they fall apart
Your emotions will make a fool of you more times than you can count
Some days it'll feel like you're holding onto your sanity by nothing more than a thread
You'll think you're fine and happy, but look back in a year and know you weren't
And in all the bullshit and frustration it gets hard to remember which parts of yourself were actually important in the first place
You'll want to pick up the pieces, but you'll struggle to remember what the puzzle looked like before the pieces were scattered
All that you can hope, is that you don't alienate too many people while you're out trying to put it all back together in your own way